


Infectious Boredom

by YourNarrator



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M, Nordics, SuFin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 22:11:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19981342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourNarrator/pseuds/YourNarrator
Summary: The Nordics are bored and decide to have a fun competition to ease their relief. From fanfiction.net. Pairing: SuFin





	Infectious Boredom

Boredom, the world’s most infamous abstract idea, settled upon the Nordic five’s household like rabies. It was infectious. The culprit? The weather. It was not glorious fluffy snow but it was not warm either. It was slippery and dangerous. The Nordics may have been used to it but they were not going out of their way to venture outside for the weather.

Denmark was the first to become infected with boredom. He had finished his collection of DVDs, ran out of pranks to play on Norway, read ‘The Snow Queen’ three times and was certain that he had watched every show on TV at least twice. He was beginning to run out of alcohol and so felt he was on the verge of collapsing. Consequently, to keep him occupied, he found some hair gel in Sweden’s room from his ‘70s days and spiked his hair up in unusual ways. His favourite had to be the “A Flock of Seagulls” look where he spiked his fringe outwards and then put a ‘v’ shape in it to make a beak. He was so impressed that he went to show the others. Not surprisingly, the only one who laughed was Finland.

Denmark’s boredom worsened and worsened over the next week. He tried giving himself an ‘emo’ fringe but gave up and reverted to his usual spiky hair. He mopped the floors whilst twerking. He washed the dishes whilst doing the ‘PonPonPon’ dance. He dusted the house whilst singing opera. Soon the house sparkled and gleamed due to his effort to find fun. Fun was nowhere to be found.

Seeing Denmark bored had a knock-on effect on Iceland. He fed his puffin and scolded him whenever he did not go outside to urinate. The silver-haired man ate his supply of liquorice and sat in his spa until he ran out of liquorice and his water had become cold. Iceland could not do his chores since Denmark finished them all with haste. So Iceland and Denmark made a pact. Yes, you read correctly, a pact between Iceland and Denmark!

“We need to get the internet back on so I can watch videos of puffins falling over.” Iceland stated to no one in particular as he slumped on the couch.

“Yes so I can watch… YouTube?” Denmark answered, slumping next to him.

Norway hovered back and watched the two converse. He did not want to admit it but seeing the two of them bored reminded him of how bored he was too. Nobody appreciated his pastries and nobody wanted to play chess with him. He wanted a break from reading Norwegian folklore and had not seen his little ‘friends’ in a while. So instead of endangering his life and joining the pact, he watched from the doorway of the living room.

“Why is the internet down?”

“Something’s wrong with the satellite dish, it needs moving slightly to the left.”

Iceland nodded.

“How about I move it and you watch me so you can tell me how much to the left it needs moving?”

Norway sniggered. Denmark sniggered too. Iceland shrugged and got up from the couch and into the back garden. Denmark and Norway both moved to the window to observe. The garden sparkled as the minimum light in the sky touched the ice that was glued to the plants and ground. Iceland made sure to move slowly across to reach the satellite dish. He tilted it left slightly but lost his footing. Clumsily Iceland clung on to the satellite dish in an effort not to fall down. But gravity hated Iceland and made sure the poor nation and the satellite dish fell down completely. Denmark laughed until his voice croaked whilst Norway tried his best not to giggle. Failing the latter, Norway ran out into the garden.

“Don’t worry, little brother, I’ll rescue you!”

“I’m not your brother!”

Surprisingly Norway made it quite the distance in the garden until Denmark skidded into him, knocking them both down.

“DEN!”

“Yes, Nor?” Norway huffed and then waved at Iceland. Iceland made a rude gesture. Then Finland approached the back door with Sweden.

“How ‘bout we leave ‘em out there?”

Finland gasped at Sweden’s idea.

“Su-san! How rude! I shall go and help them.”

Finland grabbed Iceland first since he was closest. Then the small Nordic went back for the other two. Sweden went off and made them all some hot chocolate. The five sat in front of the fire, sipping their hot chocolate. They watched the embers of the fire flicker about as the warm beverage made their stomachs comfortable and delighted their taste buds.

“Thanks Su-san for this lovely drink.” Finland gushed as the drink made his cheeks pink.

“No pr’blem.”

“So, that satellite, it did our internet right?”

“Yes, Den.” Denmark instantly went back to slumping. That meant he could not email Germany to compare magazines.

“And that satellite… It did our phone too?”

“Yes, Fin.”

Finland slumped too. He had finished all the preparations for Christmas and planned all the festivals for this year. The only thing that kept him from catching the infection of boredom was gossiping with Estonia. Why was fate so cruel?

“And the satellite… Did our TV too?”

“Yes, Nor.”

The three disappointed Nordics glared at the culprit Iceland, who glared back.

“Are you not bored, Sweden?” Norway whined once he got bored of glaring at Iceland. Sweden shook his head and sipped his chocolate drink. Denmark pondered a little in the corner and then turned to Sweden.

“Sweden… You don’t happen to know where my magazines are, do you?”

Sweden nodded, still staring at the fire.

“Where are they?”

“Most of th’m are in the c’llar…”

“Great! Where’s the key?”

Sweden put a finger to his lips. “I don’t like you hav’ng them. Not good f’r babies.”

He then pointed to Iceland and Norway. Iceland shouted at them all, insisting he was not a baby. Norway smiled and watched Iceland, objecting in no way to being a baby.

“How do you fight boredom, Sweden?” Finland asked up at the scarier nation.

“F’mily.”

Now we all know that Denmark’s brain works in mysterious ways, please keep that in mind. Hearing Sweden’s reply gave Denmark a fantastic idea to cure boredom and fix their dilemma. So he schemed until bedtime arrived. Denmark waited and waited until he heard Sweden’s light turn off in his bedroom and then the Dane put his plan into action. He entered Iceland’s room and shook Iceland roughly.

“Go away Mr Puffin!”

“It’s me, the Kingdom of fabulous Denmark.”

“What do you want?” Iceland mumbled, throwing his quilt over his head to try to drown out Denmark’s voice.

“Come into my bedroom.”

“No, I’m not falling for that trick again.”

“Don’t be such a tsundere and move it!” The spiky haired Scandinavian retorted, lifting the quilt away from Iceland to use it as a dramatic cape. With his dramatic cape, Denmark padded into Norway’s room and shook him too.

“Come into my bedroom.”

“… Is Ice there?”

“Yeah.”

“Nice one.” Norway contently slithered out of his bed and used his quilt as a cocoon and hopped over to Denmark’s bedroom. Denmark sneaked into Finland’s bedroom and shook him gently.

“Password?”

“Spinland.”

“Password accepted. See you in your room, Skidmark.”

Finland and Denmark retreated back to the latter’s bedroom and all four of them sat on Denmark’s bed in a circle.

“Okay so we all agree that someone needs to go outside and buy more alcohol.”

“And mackerels.”

“And liquorice.”

“And get the repair man to fix the satellite.”

“So how about we make a game and whoever loses has to go outside?” The other three nodded at Denmark’s plan.

“We could play Eye Spy or maybe Monopoly or maybe musical chairs.”

“That, Iceland, is why Sweden thinks you’re his baby.”

“Shut up Denmark!” Iceland sulked, folding his arms.

“Why isn’t Su-san playing with us?” Finland asked.

“Because Sweden is the object of our game. Whoever makes Sweden smile first gets a year off from doing chores, but you only get five tries and then you lose by default! So you have to plan carefully.”

“What if I don’t want to play this game?” Iceland pursed his lips.

“Then you lose by default and I’ll lock you out of the house until you get the repair man.” Finland stated bluntly. But then he smiled after the last word escaped from his lips.

“But we have rules!” Norway added.

“Yes, like no tickling Sweden!” Iceland pitched in.

“No, cross that out. No one is allowed to touch Sweden! And that includes you, Finland!”

“Den? Why specifically me?”

Denmark narrowed his eyes and flung his index finger to the shorter one’s direction. “I’ve seen the way you stroke his arm when you want something, you vixen!”

They all stared at Denmark for five minutes and then shrugged it off.

“What other rules are there?”

“We all have to be present when it happens. Sweden is not allowed to know that we are playing this game. And you’re not allowed to bribe him.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“Yeah, let’s do this!”

“It won’t hurt Su-san, right?”

“Don’t be like that, Finland, if anything he’ll enjoy it!”

They then all parted their separate ways to prepare for the next intense few days that were about to come.

“Good morning Sweden!” Norway beamed. Sweden was the last one to come down the stairs for breakfast. He sat down in his usual chair to find that Norway made him pancakes with a smiley face on it. Already the games were beginning! Sweden nodded and ate the pancakes. Norway banged his fist on the table. Now he only had four tries left! How could Sweden not smile at smiley pancakes?!

Iceland, using his initiative, borrowed Finland’s camera and filmed Mr Puffin falling off the stairs. He then showed it to the rest of the Nordics. Only Norway found it funny whilst the others were threatening to sue him for animal abuse.

Denmark, after seeing Iceland’s attempt, walked over to a very relaxed Finland.

“You can’t touch him. You can’t bribe him with Christmas presents and if he smiles at Hanatamago, it doesn’t count as your victory.”

Finland immediately became crestfallen. All his hopes were placed on Hanatamago licking Sweden’s cheek.

Denmark? He tried something a bit more radical. He told Sweden and the others that he was dying his hair to get rid of his grey roots. None of them felt like telling him that he had no grey roots. Therefore the element of surprise was heightened when Denmark came down the stairs with neon purple hair. Sweden did not even blink. The other three giggled about it for the rest of the day.

“Hey! Kingdom of Purple!”

“Purple head!”

“Purplemark!”

Sweden turned around to Finland. “You should dye your hair p’rple.”

Finland blinked. “No way!”

Norway, thinking he was being called, walked over. “What?”

“What?”

“You called me!”

“No I didn’t.”

Seeing the confused expression on Norway’s face (although it looked the same to most people) made Iceland spit out his coffee. Denmark snickered and shook his head. “That was so poor. Finland!”

“Wait! That wasn’t an attempt!”

“Well I’m counting it as one.”

The next day the boys tried again with Sweden. Norway asked Sweden if he was a homosexual. Sweden shushed him saying that little boys should not be asking about things like that until they were older. Norway had to ask Denmark.

“Yes. Why?”

“No reason, hehehe!”

They found out the reason when the spiky Nordic, the mild Nordic and the stoic Nordic were sat watching the fire again. Norway waltzed in with a bundled quilt on his shoulder and greeted his audience.

“Ta-da!” Norway unrolled his quilt bundle to reveal a very flustered Iceland.

“OH MY GOSH NO!” Finland screamed and flailed about with his arms.

“NORWAY GET OUT NOW!” Denmark shouted, throwing a pillow at Iceland. Sweden covered Finland’s eyes with his hands.

“THAT WAS SO WEIRD!” Finland screeched.

“Calm down! He’s got his boxers on!”

Iceland, realising that he was not dreaming, started kicking Norway. “You idiot! Give me back my clothes!”

Long story short, Norway and Iceland both lost another try each. This left Denmark and Finland to do their last attempts for the day. Denmark smirked. He had this one in the bag! He waited until they were sat down in the evening for their hot chocolate and then leapt up to block their view of the fire.

“And tonight, your performer is… Denmark!”

The other Nordics felt obliged to clap.

“Thank you, thank you, and thank you. Tonight I shall be performing Dancing Queen by ABBA!”

It was disastrous because, although Sweden loved the song choice, he hated Denmark’s singing. Sweden even ended up throwing an IKEA catalogue at him. Finland was completely lost for ideas. So he took inspiration from a typing error he once saw.

“Hello Sweden, I’m Finlad!”

Sweden raised an eyebrow and left the room whilst Denmark teased.

“That was awful.”

“Shut up, Purplemark!”

All three of them became lost for ideas. They only had three tries left each. Norway, as quick as ever, was the first try again the next day.

“Norway, if you keep doing th’ngs like this. I’ll lock you out of the house.” Said Sweden once he saw Norway’s latest attempt. Norway crafted a small skirt out of one Finland’s pillow covers so it reach mid-thigh and had put his hair into mini pigtails. He even went as far as wearing bright pink lipstick and mascara. Where did he find the make-up? I shall leave that to you to guess for yourselves. Denmark smirked and gave him a thumbs up. Finland sulked over his lost pillow cover. Iceland loved the opportunity to bully Norway.

“Big sister? Big sister!”

Iceland’s approach was more calculated. Sweden did not react to smiley pancakes, hair surprises, singing, jokes, cross-dressing or puffins. So therefore Sweden must approve of dancing! Iceland, like Denmark the night before, waited until they were all drinking hot drinks in front of the fire.

“Tonight your performer is… Iceland!”

Denmark realised just how bad they all did not want to go outside when Iceland stood up like that. They all clapped.

“Thanks, thanks and thanks. Tonight I shall be dancing!” Iceland, bless him, only knew one dance at this point- the heads, shoulders, knees and toes dance. So he performed this childhood classic with Mr Puffin. Now this is where the unfortunate part comes in- Iceland actually won. Sweden smiled at the baby of the family doing a little dance for them all. But everybody else was too busy laughing to notice Sweden smiling, and poor Iceland was too busy dancing to even notice that he won the game.

Finland and Denmark plotted quickly. Finland tried to recall the days when the two lived alone together. Denmark had a vague idea what he wanted to do but he wanted Finland to use his try up first. The day passed before Finland could think of something to do which made Norway and Iceland annoyed.

“You and Denmark hadn’t tried today.”

“I’m sorry, I’m still thinking of what to do.”

“How about you Denmark?”

“I want to see what Finland does.”

Sweden was the last one again to come downstairs for breakfast in the morning. He saw the games around him as nothing more than his family going insane due to the boredom. He kept himself busy by watching their antics and by designing and building more furniture and dolls. But today he decided to get out of his work clothes and into more casual attire as he was thinking of going out today. Jeans and a nice jumper always look good in winter. Finland was the first to use up another try when Sweden finally came down the stairs. It was a complete and utter desperate guess but he had to use another try to keep the others happy.

“You look nice today, my husband.”

That was it. They all stopped in their actions of eating food to stare at Finland, open-mouthed. Finland blushed. He had been rehearsing all morning to make it sound more… I don’t know… more attractive? But Finland messed up so it sounded far too casual. Sweden’s cheeks went bright pink. Finland felt so sorry for him that he almost walked out of the front door to go and get the repair man himself. But then Sweden’s blush calmed down and Sweden shocked them all.

“Ditto.” And then Sweden winked.

That was it. Norway and Iceland, mentally, were goners. They spluttered and giggled until eventually they both had to leave the kitchen. Denmark, once he was done laughing, realised what he needed to do- he needed to team up with Finland to defeat them two unhinged brothers!

“Between us we have five tries left,” He whispered to Finland when they were both sat in the living room, “And we could split the prize so we get six months off chores. Either way neither of us have to go and get the groceries or the repairman.”

“It could be repair-woman.”

“Finland! Stop changing the subject.”

“But why me?”

“Because you’ve always had something other Sweden. I don’t know what it is but you’ve got it. You just don’t know what to do with it. Whereas I do!”

“I’m not cross-dressing!”

“Fair enough. Just trust me!”

Then Norway and Iceland made a pact together too. But they were running dangerously low on ideas… So they used their fourth-to-last try on swapping outfits.

“Hello! I’m a hella cute tsundere called Iceland and I love my big brother Norway!” Norway said, wiggling his hips whilst wearing Iceland’s clothes.

“Hello! I’m Norway and I can’t stick to one personality! What is wrong with this FanFic?!” Iceland stated, waving his arms about for emphasis. Sweden was going to smile at Norway’s impression but Iceland threw him off. Finland and Denmark found they had the same problem.

Denmark then put his plan into action. He dressed Finland in a fluffy cat one-suit with a tail and ears to match. He then presented Finland to Sweden. Sweden nodded, as if he was agreeing to the idea of a cat-Finland, and then left. He just got up and walked away. The boys took the time that Sweden was away for to invent new ways to make Sweden smile.

Iceland and Norway only had three tries left between them so they decided to do this: firstly, to draw shocked faces on all the food in the fridge so they would look horrified whenever Sweden opened the fridge; secondly, record Mr Puffin miming to an ABBA song and then, for their very last plan, dress up as Finland and act like him.

Finland and Denmark, with their four tries left, planned on a Eurovision medley, then train Hanatamago to say “I love you” (they were really stuck), then teach Finland how to twerk and then, when everything failed, get Finland to admit he was a big, helpless bottom. Needless to say, Finland was really hoping the first plan would work.

Sweden entered the house again with nothing new. He kicked off his shoes and took off his coat. The other four watched from behind a door, not truly knowing what to do first.

Finland stepped forward and took his coat. “I’ll hang it up for you.”

The shortest Nordic actually could not reach the coat rack hangers. All the lower hangers were took up by coats and so Finland, even on tip toes, could not reach the last remaining peg. The others watched as Sweden took to coat from Finland and hung it up himself, smiling down at him in the process. “Cute.”

Once the task was done, Sweden’s lips returned to their usual frown. But it was still acknowledged- Finland did not have to do the chores for a full year! The others nodded at Finland and held a thumbs up to acknowledge his victory in this pathetic game. Now all that was left was for the other three to run out of tries…

Just as Denmark was setting up the DVD player for the Eurovision marathon and whilst Norway was still finding his marker pens, there was a knock on the door. Sweden opened up it up.

“Hi! Sorry I’m late, I brought the groceries with me and my toolkit.”

“Good, you need to f’x the satellite. My w’fe wants to g’ssip to his friend.” Sweden turned his head to Finland and winked. Finland concluded that this game, although it was funny to see what his friends would get up to not to go outside, uncovered something very unusual in Sweden. Subsequently, Finland winked back.

**Author's Note:**

> AN:. ‘A Flock of Seagulls’ is a band so google it if you want to see Denmark’s favourite hair style. Also the password thing is inspired by a cosplay group. I’m called Spinland whilst our Denmark is called Skidmark. I also think this is set pre-Sealand adoption days?


End file.
